Hola or hello

Greetings,

so, what does it mean, this "Tres Company Dos, Con Burro?" My friend, let me provide you with some explanation type things. Translated from the Spanglish, it literally means, "Three's Company II, With Burro." Ah yes, now I have made everything clear in your head and you are totally understanding of me. No? Okay. See, there are three of us peoples but we are not affiliated with the first Three's Company, a stunning masterpiece of shakspearian satire featuring the indominable, iron willed Jack Tripper. No one in our group has an iron will, but together we have formed a sleek, sophisticated, empowered traveling machine that can go anywhere and endure countless bouts of confusion, mudslides, political instability and tourista, all without becoming even slightly ill, agitated, put off or sent down the river. Yes, we will form a complete unit, an entity, a self-governing and self-regulating bus ticket buying band of Spanglish wielding weirdos. And if that isn't noble, then what is my friend?


Donde Esta El burro?

Currently, Tres Company Dos, Con Burro--or "Team Tres" as we are known by most people--lacks burro. Anyone with information leading to aquisition or apprehension of a burro for company, mascotship and travel is asked to contact us immediately. Any burros interested in joining the team are strongly encouraged to read the minimum burro guidelines below. If you are a burro and would like to join our team, please send us your name (must be a cute name, appropriate for a burro) work experience, salary requirements and references to:

Team Tres
ATTN: Burro
St. Paul, Mn



Minimum Burro Qualifications

• must be friendly, have a good attitude about life
• familiar with photoshop and quark x-press, proven proficiency with microsoft word and powerpoint
• 90 wpm with 3 or less errors
• carry 200 lbs up a mountain with no fewer than three stubborn kicks
• understand Spanglish, American and Mexican
• four years experience or B.A. (Burro of Arts) in Burroology or related field
• be able to nuzzle, nudge and be petted with NO biting
• abstain from drugs and alcohol for two weeks at a time
• pass a multiple choice burro exam with a score no lower than 90th percentile
• international driver's license
• all shots and vaccinations including rabies vac up-to-date
• proven martial arts proficiency in a pre-approved martial arts tradition
• firearms certified for small arms, hand guns and millitary weapons
• demolitions disposal experience
• hazzardous situations operations experience with hostage negotiation skill proficiency
• hand-to-hoof combat, remote wilderness survival and air-to-ground operations training
• SCUBA certified for deep water survival and tactical sea based training
• references from three other burros and one human being (references must be typed, black ink and written in human, not burro)

All applications are treated equally. Team Tres is an EBE (equal burro employer)