San Juan Del Sur Rodeo

San Juan Del Sur Rodeo
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

Attention pissed off vegans: the cows got the better of the people here. This rodeo consisted of a bunch of drunk guys hanging out, waving their t-shirts in front of cows with a beer in one hand. Most of the cows just started grazing or headed for the gate after chucking their rider but a few of them, especially the little´uns really got sick of all the attention from the barrachos, and decided to chase a few of them around. Oh the irony! A bunch of drunk guys trying to look tough and cool but as soon as a small cow comes running they all scrambled up the chain link fence just as fast as their sissy arms could lift them.

San Juan Del Sur-f

San Juan Del Sur-f
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

We walked around the north side of the bay until we came to the end. We picked up crazy looking, asymmetrical shells and saw millions of crabs and snails and birds following boats and sandy, gravelly cliffs.

San Juan Del Sur

San Juan Del Sur
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

Best, most beautiful, quiet beach town in Central America. Great seafood. We tried lobster and shrimp and conch and white shell ceviche here. We body surfed and drank beer. This was the first time Nice and I saw ans swam in the Pacific ocean.

coffee at Macaw Mountain Park

coffee at Macaw Mountain Park
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

We drank that stuff.

santa rosa de copan

santa rosa de copan
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

He´s selling manuals for learning English.

gracias lempira Honduras

gracias lempira Honduras
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

Celaque National Park and the largest mountain in Honduras in the background left. we tried to climb it. we did not succeed. We came back soaked but unbroken. The view is from El Castillo, whicj offers panoramic views of Gracias Lempiras and the surrounding mountains.

la ceiba harbour

la ceiba 2.JPG
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

la ceiba honduras.JPG

la ceiba honduras.JPG
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

The harbor where the Utilla Princess took us out to Utilla.

convento san francisco, Granada Nicaragua

convento san francisco
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

This being the place where the hired guns of Wack Willie walker are laid to rest, far from their precious southern cottonfields, far from their dream of recreating a slaveholding confederate republic by enslaving Nicaragua. They all died ignonimously. They got their just deserts. this is also the place where Bartolme De Las Casas, famous for his historical anthropological tome The Chronicles of New Spain, wrote his letter to the Spanish Crown decrying the murdurous excesses of the conquest.

SANTA BARBARA NATIONAL PARK, Los Andes Honduras

SANTA BARBARA NATIONAL PARK, Los Andes Honduras
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

Way up in the mountains...

HOSTEL CENTRAL Mural

HOSTEL CENTRAL Mural
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

Hippies get to draw on the walls here.

flowers in parque central copan

flowers in parque central copan.JPG
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

vivarina SBNP

vivarina SBNP.JPG
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

The milky sap is snorted up the nose to relieve migrane headaches. This was taken in the cloud forest of Santa Barabara Nation Park in western Honduras and shown to us the The Guide Marcos sanchez who is not an herbalist by profession but like many rural people, knows about and uses plants to heal himself and his family.

celaque national park2 (5).JPG

celaque national park2 (5).JPG
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

SANTA BARBARA NATIONAL PARK

SANTA BARBARA NATIONAL PARK.JPG
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

EL GIA MARCOS SANCHEZ.JPG

EL GIA MARCOS SANCHEZ.JPG
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

This man lead us up the mud filled mountain in the pouring rain, showed us medicinal plants and his shoes and pants never even got wet. He really enjoyed holding the girls{ hands as we came down the mountain.

old church granada (2).JPG

old church granada (2).JPG
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

From the bell tower

celaque national park2 (5).JPG

celaque national park2 (5).JPG
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

bus vendors

bus vendors.JPG
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

This was in Rio Dulce, Guatemala

Chicken

Sometimes its when things are just a little askew that they seem most surreal. Some notable names of restaurants observed down here: Taco Belly Casa de Gross Power Chicken Pollo Rey (Chicken King) Pollo Estrella (Chicken Star) Pollo Pollo (Chicken Chicken) I get the distinct impression that chicken is available. On the busses, people run laps around the windows yelling "pollo pollo pollo!" and holding up trays of chicken covered in seranwrap.

Gran-ada, Gran-ada, Tomata, Tomata, Lets Call the whole thing...off.

Granada, Nicaragua.

Its a little like Granada, Minnesota. It has the exact same name. All the letters are there and all the letters are in the same order. In that way, they are alike.

But you won´t find churches burned by William Walker in Minnesota. Thats because after losing the Civil War, Walker came down here to find more stuff to burn and people to enslave. Everyone has different talents. Burning, sacking and enslaving were just things Wack Willie happened to be good at. He was just following his bliss. Unfortunately his bliss happened to be everyone else´s nightmare. Somebody hung Wee Willie Walker after he did all that sacking and pillaging. I´m sort of glad they did. Pillagers tend to lack manners. And the ones that do have manners tend to have bad ones. Well, often enough anyhow.

Lets move on.

Lots of skeletal horses draw carriages here. They draw quite well, considering their innate dearth of natural artistic ability. I find that horse poo in the country smells natural but here, all over the roads it smells like...whoever could market disposible diapers for horses might make a shilling or two down in these parts. "Giddy up!" would be the brand, and the commercial would show a toddler, then a horse, then a diaper to make it easier for people to make the conceptual leap to associating horses and diapers. Soon, folks won´t know how they ever got along without them, and the horse that doesn´t wear one will seem practically indecent.

Anyway, if digression was a science I would be a digressionologist.

Anyway, well...

Lago Nicaragua is the tenth largest fresh water body in the world, and the only fresh body of water that contains the evolutionarily evolved Spiney Land Shark, that crawls around on a bipod and possesses a natural hatred of man. Woman, its cool with. The lago, or "lake" as it may be termed, also contains many other rare fishes, like the bottlenecked dolphin, famous for its vicious attacks against anything innocent or harmless. Programs are already n place to help local people to decrease the propogation of these aquatic ingrates with the less harmful zebra mussel, aquatic milfoil and kudzu.

Fray Bartolome Of the Houses also did some living down here and its fair to say the friar did more good for this town then Wack Willie. Fray Bartolome, or "Bart" as he is affectionately known, had some hard words for the Spanish Crown when the conquestadores went a bits nuts with the conquestadoring down here, with all the genocide and slavery and murder, and stuff.

In 1535, Bart wrote the following historical words:

Dear Crown,

WHO LET THE FREAKIN´DAWGS OUT?????
DAAAAAAAAM!
Would you mind puttin´the brakes on this puppy before we kill 95% of folks. Ain´t 90% good enough? Sorry Crown, I don´t know what your crown-liness would have us do, but we´re runnin´out of pagans to burn.

Thanks for listening,

Bartolme de las Casas

Why´d ya go der?!?

U.S. Embassy Tegucigalpa cut us off
Waving U.S. passports to Honduran security
U.S. citizens not welcome there
Where´s the flag
when you finally want it?

Har, har, says the redneck
Ya miss it now, doncha?
Its refuge, protection, rights
No flag here, that´ll learn ya
That´ll learn ya real good

Learn ya not to go
to them foreign nations
like the ones I seen
A pitcher of.
Learn ya not to piss on freedom
and trade yer guns for doves

It´ll learn that
there ain´t no way
you need that bull type crap
Just turn on NASCAR
go to the lie berry
eat yer flake flakes
or take a goddang, freakin´nap!

Ain´t no way the godless hordes
need yer sympathy
yer learnin´them
that laz-e-ness
with earn ém room and board

Whats in that place
yer goin´to
ya can´t find back at home?
some funny words?
Some dirty food?
and kitchens filled with poo?

They got no law
They don´t keep time
and all their beef is lean.
They ain´t got FORD
or Pictionary
jest tortillers, rice, n´beans.

Them folks down there
I´m sure they´re fine
They got a right to live
But they got freakin´chickens
coming out of everwheres
and thirty ´goddang, freakin´kids.

Pity them folks
or give em alms n dollars
but why´dya wanna go chat em up?
They got no regular type teeth
They ain´t got ways thats civvy-lized
but let all hell run loose off the leash

Rage Against the Roid

If you had told me that one day I would be standing in the aisle of a schoolbus bound for Tegucigalpa listening to Carribean Queen and watching waterfalls stream down from pinetree clad mountaintops while being bounced back and forth between the seats with a bluging, watermelon sized hemmoroid protruding from my rear end like a tail...

...I might not have known what to say...

But I might say this:

Doctor won´t you please
help my hemmoroid
He´s down there lookin´at me
He coughed up snot
on´t you help him
I think its his vein.

Doctor won´t you please
help my hemmoroid
He´s down and he ain´t
gettin´up
He can´t talk
´cause he´s a hemmoroid
and I think its vein.

Video Killed the Radio Star

Tony's was the first shared bathroom place we stayed on this trip that I didn't mind, because we didn't have to share it and it was clean and dry. Its run by an older Creole couple and their cats and two boxers. When we left for a different place and the man said, "goodbye sweetheart" and it was the first time I've heard anyone talk to a woman like that down here and mean it in a nice way and not crude. I'll miss the folks at Tony's.

Near Tony's we went to a place called Gunter's Gallery but it wasn't really a gallery, just a house lived in by an artist and his kids, which made it far more interesting. Gunter's two daughters let us in and showed us their papa's work, lots of carved wood things with fishes etched and painted on them, necklaces, paintings and ornate, detailed drawings of maps, which were truly unique. We asked about the real tarantula spider frozen in clear resin as a paperweight or ornament and the younger girl said, "yeah, I don't like those." She said they crawl out from under rocks and her dad pickles them and puts them in jars and things. Why? To make art with? "I don't know," the girl said, shrugging her shoulders. "He's just my dad."

There are many older Creole people walking around with canes and young children too, white and black, all speaking Creole. Young, old, black or white, they all seem to say "fuck" every other word whether happy, sad, angry or just letting the dog outside. I have fun listening to it and watching the old men gather to play cards and the kids riding their bikes around. There is such diversity of people here, lots of Creole, Latino, and UK Dive People...they're their own ethnic group, believe me...I've seen a few transgender folks, or gender bending folks, whatever.

Amazingly for a tourist island, I've only been offered drugs once here and the dude made no effort to get me to buy, even for a weed dealer. Weed dealers usually at least say, "are you sure man? I got good shit." But this guy just said, "weed? Oh, okay." Never happens down here. They usually just get started with weed, and then progress to horses and coke and god only knows because I never ask. One drunk man with two teeth ride up to us on a bicycle and offered us vodka bottles he said were full of honey. Honey? Yeah, well...there were full of something. We explained that we were backpackers and had no room to carry 750 ml bottles of honey through the rest of Honduras and Nicaragua. The man seemed stunned with disbelief. "Of course you have room! Its honey!" Well, alright then. No disrespect to your honey buddy.

I'm staying at a place called Cooper's right now and its run by a lady with big problems. She told stories to me and yelled for a long time about the UPCO power utility company when I first arrived. I stood their with my backbacks on, drenched in sweat. "Ya know I barely makes a living here! They're sucking us all dry, you know! First dey make it six Lempir a kilowatt and now dey raise it again! What the hell am I gonna do. I can't make a living chargin these rates because these American company comes in and makes us pay for their loan!" She was very upset but I don't think she meant it personally toward me, though I wouldn't blame her if she did. She said UPCO is from Tenesse and they came to Utilla a few years ago and set up the power lines and infastructure on a loan that they took out that went bad and their debt is being passed on to the Utillan people in the form of "pay as you go" billing, long lines at the bank to pay bills weekly, power outages and vastly increased rates. The lady also said a lot of backpackers left her hotel without paying, even after neogiating good deals and reduced rates for longer stays. One guy stayed for two months at a reduced rate and then left without paying at all, screwing her out of 4000L. I felr really bad hearing that. I don't know how anyone could be that cold blooded, especially to somebody who's barely getting by as it is. I didn't make any deals with the lady and the room is still only eight bucks a night! How can somebody skip town without paying when its that cheap?

The means of transportation here is fast, drunk, and or stupid driving with golf carts, trucks, ATV's, crotch rockets, bicycles and mopeds. We rented bicycles the other day and went to the beach and I was standing by my bike when some idiot turned the corner of the all sand road on his crotch rocket, two wheeled sports car dumb ass machine. I was all the way over on the side of the road standing next to my bike and he wiped out into me head on. Thankfully he hit the brakes just in time and all I got was a scratch on my leg from my own bike being pushed into me, and a tire treadmaek on my swimming trousers. When I saw him coming in that split second I knew I didn't even have time to jump. I thought for sure it was gonna at least snap like leg in two or break my hip, which would be worse than being killed outright because I'd have to get surgery and be stuck in the country with no insurance and no way to pay the bill. The man just got on his bike and smiled and drove away like it was a big joke. I don't mean to be derogatory but theres just something about these highpowered toys like ATV's, jet skis, crotch rockets, whatever that just makes people act stupid. They ought to take a little of the testosterone out of the 8000 cc engines they run those things with. Yikes!

We went to a bar in a treehouse and drank Flor De Cana rum which Sarah thinks tastes like medicine but I think tastes like Bacardi Gold, but smoother. Papa Larry, you out there? You'd love the treehouse bar. It has all these levels and wood planks, sealed lights with plastoc fishes, walls studded with glass bottles, reflective glass in multicolors, mosaic tiles in white and blue. Funky statuettes adorn every roof and spire of grottos and minibars and artificial cavey things with fountains. It has too mank nooks and stairs and statues to describe and the drinks are cheap and they play good music from home, music I so searly miss.

Even old Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins, and that one Moby song I really dig. Oh to hear a Doors song when I don't exect it! I cannot describe the blissful shudders it sends up my spine. I never used to sing along but now I sing loud and clear when I hear anything I love. In the middle of reggae and the obnoxious Latino pop that blasts from everywhere. Its such an oasis of sanity. Of all the wordly, material things from home the only thing thing I really mis is my music. Books I can live without for awhile, but how I wish I had Donovan with me, the Dandy Warhols and the Brian Jonestown Massacre, psychedelic rock. The simplest pleasure was sitting back home drinking beers with the stereo turned up and just letting the songs and beer move me into whatever mood I desired. The music from here can't do that. It only stupefies and creates anxiety. The best mood lifting stuff I expect to hear is disco, funk and dance music, which doesn't satisfy like the BJM would, but it feels real good anyway. I like the more sophisticated shit like Dido's dancier stuff. I'm into 80's songs! I love hearing all of them. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS, I WANT YOU TO SHOW MEEEEEE! Bring it. OOOOOOM SKINNY BOP, OOOOH YEAH. Uh huh. WE COME FROM A LAND DOWN UNDER. Right on. HER NAME IS RIO AND SHE DANCES ON THE SAND, Rio, RIO DANCER. Oh yeah bay bee! VIDEO KILLED THE RADIO STAR. Fuck. Yeah. LOVE IN ELEVATOOOOR, LIVING IT AS WE'RE GOIN' DOWWWN. Okay, nope. Not that one. I don't want or expect this craze to last, but for now I'm embracing it. Ba da bup bup bah. These ears are lovin' it. Yeah.

Where Are We Now? Utilla, Bahia Islands, Honduras

Where Are We Now? Utilla, Bahia Islands, Honduras
Originally uploaded by teerlinck.

We left San Pedro Sula and took am easy bus ride to the city of La Ceiba, the third largest city in Honduras. When we got there we ate lunch at a great little Israeli joint run by a guy who makes the best falafal in the world, and got caught in a hurricane as a sailor so he likes making falafal better. Then we took the Utilla Princess out to the Bay Island of Utilla, a very different place from the rest of Honduras. We saw dolphins swimming in the wake that the boat made, jumping joyfully in and out of the water like happy happy water things. Instead of taxi drivers, hippies with UK accents mob you to try to get you into their dive shops with enticements of maps and free lodging when you get off the boat. All in all, not a bad deal but we're not here to dive. Its a little like Caye Caulker but the road is paved, there are green hills overgrowing with trees and bat caves full of bats. We saw the clouds hovering over the mountains on the mainland. Utilla appears to be a beer and party town for diving folks but there is plenty to see. The locals have been friendly so far. I hear creole and Spanish, country western music and reggae. Dreadlock Holiday was playing at Munchies, where I bought water because I had the thirsties todday...big time... not the munchies. Tomorrow I'm having barracuda kabobs. Mmmmm hmmmm. As of this writing we've been here for four hours.

crazy city

Observations In San Pedro Sula, Honduras.


Thousands of shoes in hundreds of stores
women aren´t supposed to wear shorts
a woman I saw with a bloated leg
oppressive heat, a few people begging
"Taxi taxi taxi!"
The lady has a shoeless foot.
Yes, and I can see it coming off.


***


Pink salve, not salva vida
A lady lifts up her shirt, shows me fading red spots on her belly
See, it works!
20L is cheap, so I buy a jar
She makes a circular motion, to demonstrate application
An old man with a bale of dried herb ambles up
No, I can´t do that one too. One thing at a time.
Wait wait, ah yes. Yes I can see what...
...what you´re doing with the herb.
...Right, topically. A bath, I see. But no,
I really have all I can carry.
I do appreciate your kindness, all this extra time.
Yes, bath with it. Rinse? I see.
I´m afraid I´m not getting through to you.
I´m sorry about my Spanish.
Its woeful,
smaller and more dry
than the little herbal bundle
that you keep showing me.
Again sir, I´m sorry.
My dazed expression, my open mouth,
my shrugged shoulders
will have to suffice.
Thank you for helping
the infantile tourist


***